The most angry lack of control post I will hopefully ever make.

I’m drunk, and I should be. I have had the worst week and a half ever and its going to be a while, and a lot of work till it gets better. I have been forced out of my home by bugs that were delivered by accident most likely on a birthday package from a friend who lives a million miles away whom I miss all the time. My girlfriend is sick and mad at me because my homeless problem is keeping me form being with her all the time. My comic that I have been slaving over has been heavily damaged at the hand of the bug problem, and my back is regressing into the pain zone all over again. Amidst all of this I am getting weird gilt trips from my mom. And then today I get the most bullshit invite from facebook ever!!! I have gotten this kind of thing before, but this time I can’t handle it! I make art work. I have shown and organized art shows in many places in Portland which is the city I live in, and also happens to be the city I was born in, in fact I have always lived here and never once lived anywhere else. In other words the term Portland native, and or Portland artists couldn’t be more me. The city of Portland in recent years has made a huge campaign over the importance of home grown local value and its importance and pride over its city and its wealth of creativity and beauty. This seems to have most heavily struck a cord in many transplants to Portland as something to live up to and in tern be proud of or possibly use to be accepted or something. I don’t know what the impetus is. But what I am tired of is this. I don’t want to receive messages that advertise the terms “A show of our favorite Portland artists” from a space run and owned by people who have moved here in less years then it takes to represent with the fingers of only one of my hands (and I have all 5 digits on both!). A space that in such short time has taken on to represent the city of Portland with a stereotype of NW values they adopted and weren’t raised in. Aaaand I especially don’t want that list of “A Show of our favorite Portland artists” to list a group of artists whom have lived here less then or equal to the same amount of digits previously mentioned! I especially don’t want the ENTIRE list of artists to be people who I know have only lived here barley long enough to count on one hand. For fucks sake! I don’t want those so called “Portland” artists to be people I fucking personally helped and encouraged to move here less then 6 months ago!!! I am a “Portland” artist. In an artist statement or bio for any other show in another city it would state that I am a “Portland artist”. It would state that because it is the city I am from, not the city I have recently resided in after living somewhere if not many other places for the 1st 18+ years of my life. Fuck, in Portland Maine it would state that I am a “NW Portland artist”! It’s a bummer for me to get an invitation to view and not be one of “ a show of our favorite Portland artists” when you and so few legitimately are. But it’s an even bigger bummer when you are invited to such a thing with such a statement from a space you have shown in many times, that knows your work. But what is truly offensive is being told that a bunch of people who are recent transplants to Portland, (an overgrowing city flowing with artists) are the “favorite “Portland artists”. That shit hurts. Maybe true Portland art is garbage, and I’m so “Portland” I cant see through any other eyes. But if you are going to play it like you are “Portland”, show some “NW tree hugger Green” style hospitality and be more sensitive.

I made this for my friend Julia's birthday and celebrating her amazing comic "Flesh And Bone"
If you haven't read it yet, get on it!

Arthur MAG!

A mega pal of mine, Jason Levian asked me to contribute some pages from my epic comic in progress to Arthur magazines Blog. If you go there now you can read the very nice things he says of me and read the 6 pages of "2005" I have given him. I recommend also checking out in there comics section, Chris Cilla's piece, its insane and as always disturbingly beautiful!
HERES DA LINK!

All DOGS Go To Heaven

Hey Doods! Are you ready to get mega wicked!!! Come see the dark side at Pony Club gallery this coming 1st Thursday of September! Yours truly is serving up a dish of pure evil in this Dave Nuss curated show. Yes Dave Nuss of "Revival House Press" and "Shit Beams" Fame! Wait you don't know this stuff?! Get over to the internet and buy everything this dood has!!! Wait NO! Make it even easier for your ass and walk over to the show on 1st thursday and buy them from Dave in person!!! I just picked up the new release "Everything Unseen" by Drew Beckmeyer at the Portland Zine Symposium (more on that later). Dave the "Rave" Nuss has found a jewel of raw beauty and futurez passion with this book!!! I am obsessed with it and I only finnished reading it the second time this morning and have only owned it 72 hours!!! I feel so lucky that this book lives with me!!! If you are unfamiliar with Beckmeyers work you should get all over his stuff, get yourself some juice and sit and melt with it for a while. He is truly brilliant, Beckmeyer just dove head first into comics like he has been at it for 20 years!
MAN! YES!!! Ok, back to me. Um, The picture above is a detail from my new piece to be featured in the satanic panic in the attic style explosion opening 1st Thursday At the Pony Club Gallery. Call up your ex goth girlfriend/boyfriend and bring em on down! I'll see you there BWAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!

Kyles Birthday!

Happy Birthday Kyle! I love you!

Psychic Video: Kyles Birthday message from Awesome But True on Vimeo.

Sketching for health!

Yesterday Amy, Theo, Emily and I went and saw a Herzog movie called the Enigma Of Kaspar Hauser. It was totally rad! I enjoyed it most for all of its prompts for thought that it gave me. The story itself is full of mystery and questions, so you feel left with many. I found myself in a state of strange comfort simply listening to its Hero speaking. His voice had an interesting quality on its own and the character had a slow speech that gave you the feeling he was choosing his words with much care and visualizing them as a form coming from his mouth.
After the movie I began to experience a nearly mentionless itch at my 1st finger on my power hand. It seemed like just a harmless scratch from a passing bush along our walk to the theater.
Theo, Amy & I went and talked about the movie over a Beer. Over the coarse of conversation the drive to draw came over Amy, and she began doing portraits of the 2 of us on tiny squares. They were totally beautiful! Theo seemed to be at a loss without paper so I slid him my sketch pad and he began to go at it right away!
Soon Theo and I had the need for some Pizza conveniently across the way! We were each able to select our individual allotted topping and promptly pizza Jammed!
I asked Theo if he wanted to keep his drawing. With a glare of the unknown he left it in my hands.
The next morning (today) I woke up and was totally astonished and near panicked to find my finger who told me it was a little itchy, had swelled to enormous proportions!!! I was terrified. I did all of the things one must do to get it to a doctor, and made haste for it with the aid of Amy and our friend Arial as they set off to go to a waterfall adventure together.
Once at the Clinic, I needed to find something to occupy my mind and distract from my paranoid germy surroundings that are not dissimilar from my day job that I have negative feeling for as well. I found the comfort of Theo's sketch in my bag and it reminded me of a strange and magical story he told me a few days before about a magic and mysterious thing he happened upon. I began to draw and add on to it. It made me almost completely forget my troubled finger, and assured me it would all be ok and I would still be able to draw. Creation is powerful magic.
The image above is the picture.

Self reflection?

Here is a comic made up of buisness cards by Amy Kuttab that reflect my many daily positions of life. It is good for me to know I am doing these things as i reflect on the day by looking at these. AH HA HA HA H A!!!!!! YES! You should visit Amy's blog for the full story in more business card comics! YESSS!!!!