The most angry lack of control post I will hopefully ever make.

I’m drunk, and I should be. I have had the worst week and a half ever and its going to be a while, and a lot of work till it gets better. I have been forced out of my home by bugs that were delivered by accident most likely on a birthday package from a friend who lives a million miles away whom I miss all the time. My girlfriend is sick and mad at me because my homeless problem is keeping me form being with her all the time. My comic that I have been slaving over has been heavily damaged at the hand of the bug problem, and my back is regressing into the pain zone all over again. Amidst all of this I am getting weird gilt trips from my mom. And then today I get the most bullshit invite from facebook ever!!! I have gotten this kind of thing before, but this time I can’t handle it! I make art work. I have shown and organized art shows in many places in Portland which is the city I live in, and also happens to be the city I was born in, in fact I have always lived here and never once lived anywhere else. In other words the term Portland native, and or Portland artists couldn’t be more me. The city of Portland in recent years has made a huge campaign over the importance of home grown local value and its importance and pride over its city and its wealth of creativity and beauty. This seems to have most heavily struck a cord in many transplants to Portland as something to live up to and in tern be proud of or possibly use to be accepted or something. I don’t know what the impetus is. But what I am tired of is this. I don’t want to receive messages that advertise the terms “A show of our favorite Portland artists” from a space run and owned by people who have moved here in less years then it takes to represent with the fingers of only one of my hands (and I have all 5 digits on both!). A space that in such short time has taken on to represent the city of Portland with a stereotype of NW values they adopted and weren’t raised in. Aaaand I especially don’t want that list of “A Show of our favorite Portland artists” to list a group of artists whom have lived here less then or equal to the same amount of digits previously mentioned! I especially don’t want the ENTIRE list of artists to be people who I know have only lived here barley long enough to count on one hand. For fucks sake! I don’t want those so called “Portland” artists to be people I fucking personally helped and encouraged to move here less then 6 months ago!!! I am a “Portland” artist. In an artist statement or bio for any other show in another city it would state that I am a “Portland artist”. It would state that because it is the city I am from, not the city I have recently resided in after living somewhere if not many other places for the 1st 18+ years of my life. Fuck, in Portland Maine it would state that I am a “NW Portland artist”! It’s a bummer for me to get an invitation to view and not be one of “ a show of our favorite Portland artists” when you and so few legitimately are. But it’s an even bigger bummer when you are invited to such a thing with such a statement from a space you have shown in many times, that knows your work. But what is truly offensive is being told that a bunch of people who are recent transplants to Portland, (an overgrowing city flowing with artists) are the “favorite “Portland artists”. That shit hurts. Maybe true Portland art is garbage, and I’m so “Portland” I cant see through any other eyes. But if you are going to play it like you are “Portland”, show some “NW tree hugger Green” style hospitality and be more sensitive.